Posted on October 11, 2014
Is Tenacity the Most Important Attribute for Successful Parenting?
Along with all the other hats we have to wear in our day to day lives parenting our children is singularly the most difficult.
Partly this is because it is a dynamic process, just when we think we have cracked it our children move on and we are learning again how to manage them and guide them.
Some days are harder than others with the difference dependent on stress levels, health and demands on our time. When our parenting resolve is low is often when it matters most!
A Tidy Room?
Children are in tune with their parents and can sense when we are not firing on all cylinders which is when their behaviour can be affected and when they (annoyingly) become more persistent or resistant. The other factor which adds to the mystery of parenting is that we don’t see the fruits of our labour straight away. For example, when repeatedly asking your teenager to tidy their room it is easy to feel that you are not getting through to them and therefore shut the door and forget the problem. The work we do in educating our children on behaviour and acceptable standards isn’t about us reaping the benefits now. In fact the whole parent child relationship can seem like it is based on them not listening and us repeating ourselves until we are hoarse.
The secret is only realised when as adults they can hear their parent’s voice guiding them and it moulds the grown up they become and in turn will shape them as parents.
Investing in the Future
If it helps imagine your child bringing up your grandchild and because you didn’t repeat yourself enough they don’t have you on their shoulder guiding them. In a way you are investing in the future generations not just your own child. (I find having a broader view point helps take the intensity and frustration away) – see the bigger picture. It’s not about getting a tidy room it’s about the future of the human race !!!!!
So my point is yes it’s hard, don’t expect miracles, keep your boundaries strong and one day you will reap the benefits of all your hard work. Right now you are shaping a human being and their job is to challenge you throughout this process, so being tenacious is a great attribute to have.
This sums it up!